Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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