I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
