I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
