I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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