The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This house was built for laser tag.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
