so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I smell like Dick and happiness
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
