Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
