he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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