told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
