So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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