i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
