Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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