Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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