Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
zippers are such a cool invention
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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