i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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