he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
