am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
