dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
