at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
