I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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