my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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