He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
