i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
