I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
