I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize