His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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