apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
