i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
