you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
