I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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