Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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