anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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