you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize