The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
