He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
