someone owes me an orgasm
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
