"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
