# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
