Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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