man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
