Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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