i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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