Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
