I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
