That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
