Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
