You can't special order awesome
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ttyl tear gas
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
