He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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