I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
