the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
