I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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