Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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