There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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