so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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