is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
