so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
