he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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