For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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