I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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