He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
