She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
