Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
