Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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