We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
