shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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