So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I had to cum in my sink.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
